Amongst Friends

I'm a man who craves deep, brain-engaging, thoughtful conversation outside of conventional banter. I have confided in my fiance (henceforth known as MsSisyphus) about how my social life suffers from a void of camaraderie. Not in an I-have-no-friends-woe-as-me-time-for-xbox-in-my-sweatpants-mopey sort of way. But in a I-haven't-heard-an-original-thought-or-idea-outside-of-my-home-or-the-internet-in-months kind of listlessness. It was getting to the point where I would rather not be social than to go out and be forced to look into the deep, dark chasm that was my life through the lens of everyone around me pea-cocking to Fergie and talking about the latest advances in Beer Pong. (They have yet to make opponents in a non-douche variety).

Then a couple weeks ago, a friend of MsSisyphus and I asked us over for drinks and a Brewer's game (you need the former to enjoy the latter this year). Our friend's husband is sort of a quiet guy. At least he was quiet around me. I knew he was big into philosophy so I posed the question: "I want read either Notes From The Underground or The Idiot (both by Dostoevsky), what should I choose?"

Direct hit.

We chatted about abstract philosophical concepts off and on for the rest of the night. Does God exist? If he does, does he care about us? Do we live in the best of all possible worlds? Is life ultimately futile? Is Lamb of God's Laid to Rest the best metal song of the last five years? Am I The Walrus? The night went from the usual humdrum of "let's get together to give ourselves the illusion that we are doing something with our time" to sitting in a comfortable chair sipping a glass of $80 scotch discussing Dante and Voltaire.

Best of all, I don't know all that much about philosophy outside of high school and Bioshock so I learned a great deal about many interesting concepts. It was the breath of fresh air I needed after inhaling the suffocating smog of hackneyed palaver for too long.

Risking snobbery, I tell this story because, as a man, I constantly yearn for these types of discussions. But the opportunity to engage in them is few and far between. I sincerely believe that we have lost our ability to have meaningful conversations with each other. I blame three things:

1. Popular music - Try and talk about higher concepts with this going on:



2. Access to televisions - Another mindless distraction that arrests natural eloquence

3. Appetite for shitty alcohol - "I believe what Nietzsche said was correct in that 'fixed truths in religion and morality are an illusion. We created them, thus "God is dead" and morality is relative to the individual'. Bartender! Another Jager bomb please!"

It goes without saying that there is always a time and a place for getting smashed and acting stupid. I prefer weddings and work parties. But I don't always want to fill my times of communion in the eye of a hurricane created by fetid mating dances concocted from UV and dandelion wine.

Let us find a quiet bar and talk about complex ideas. Let us discuss politics and disagree amongst ourselves over old fashions and pints of beer. Let the soft warmth of good booze loosen our lips and let those other fools decipher whether or not we are learned men or just full of shit. It shouldn't matter to us anyway.